Saturday, April 01, 2006
SO WHY DO THEY CALL IT BANGKOK?
I arrived in Thailand and got in a taxi. It should have been a 30 minute ride. 3 hours later, I was still sitting in the car as Pro-Thaksin ralliers clogged the streets. Finally, the driver told me I'd be better off getting out and taking a motorcycle taxi. For those who don't know, a motorcycle taxi is Bangkok's most dangerous and terrifying way to travel. They weave in and out of traffic at high speeds, and don't really obey traffic laws. But damn they're fast. Fortunately they gave me a helmit and we only had one minor accident. The accident was caused by the monsoon-like rain.
Arriving at Khaosan Rd. I checked into my hotel and went to get falaffel. At the falaffel stand I met Carmen, an American journalist who works in Taiwan. We spoke in Chinese/Thai/English for a while and agreed to go look at the protests the next day.
The next morning we started walking around and went to the Grand Palace where we had heard there were protests. There was no one there. We then went to Siam Paragon where there had been protests. No one. Sukhumvit. No one. We went back to Khaosan. Later that day we found out that there were many protests in Silom. We went over to look. No one. We subsequently discovered that the opposition had called off the protests until after the elections. Oh well.
Silom is where the notorious Patpong red light district is. We decided to explore and play count the kathoey, the Thai term for transvestite. Thailand is the sex change capital of the world due to their very liberal attitudes towards sex and gender. Within 20 minutes I had reached 30 in my count. People kept asking Carmen if he was my father (note, he's 30, but looks 40.) Eventually we started answering yes, he was my father and my mother is Thai, which is why I could speak some Thai.
We then went to see a show. There were maybe 20 "girls" inside (5 were kathoey,) who were up on stage doing various acts. At the table, girls would come around and sit with the customers. One had a swastika tattooed on her hand. I figured it was probably the Buddhist symbol, instead of the nazi one. I asked. Her reply was, "Nazi...Buddha" then put her hands in a praying position. I didn't know Buddha was a Nazi. The 3 most impressive acts were a lady using chopsticks with her vagina, a lady smoking cigarettes with her vagina, and my personal favorite, shooting darts. I was handed a balloon and told to hold it up, away from my face. From 15 ft. she shot the balloon. That is a scary woman. Later that night I witnessed a lady playing a trumpet. I can't play the trumpet with my mouth, let alone another part of me. Where do these people acquire their skills? How does one think to try it?
I stopped counting kathoey at 150 (3 hours after I started counting.)
Happy April 1st.
I arrived in Thailand and got in a taxi. It should have been a 30 minute ride. 3 hours later, I was still sitting in the car as Pro-Thaksin ralliers clogged the streets. Finally, the driver told me I'd be better off getting out and taking a motorcycle taxi. For those who don't know, a motorcycle taxi is Bangkok's most dangerous and terrifying way to travel. They weave in and out of traffic at high speeds, and don't really obey traffic laws. But damn they're fast. Fortunately they gave me a helmit and we only had one minor accident. The accident was caused by the monsoon-like rain.
Arriving at Khaosan Rd. I checked into my hotel and went to get falaffel. At the falaffel stand I met Carmen, an American journalist who works in Taiwan. We spoke in Chinese/Thai/English for a while and agreed to go look at the protests the next day.
The next morning we started walking around and went to the Grand Palace where we had heard there were protests. There was no one there. We then went to Siam Paragon where there had been protests. No one. Sukhumvit. No one. We went back to Khaosan. Later that day we found out that there were many protests in Silom. We went over to look. No one. We subsequently discovered that the opposition had called off the protests until after the elections. Oh well.
Silom is where the notorious Patpong red light district is. We decided to explore and play count the kathoey, the Thai term for transvestite. Thailand is the sex change capital of the world due to their very liberal attitudes towards sex and gender. Within 20 minutes I had reached 30 in my count. People kept asking Carmen if he was my father (note, he's 30, but looks 40.) Eventually we started answering yes, he was my father and my mother is Thai, which is why I could speak some Thai.
We then went to see a show. There were maybe 20 "girls" inside (5 were kathoey,) who were up on stage doing various acts. At the table, girls would come around and sit with the customers. One had a swastika tattooed on her hand. I figured it was probably the Buddhist symbol, instead of the nazi one. I asked. Her reply was, "Nazi...Buddha" then put her hands in a praying position. I didn't know Buddha was a Nazi. The 3 most impressive acts were a lady using chopsticks with her vagina, a lady smoking cigarettes with her vagina, and my personal favorite, shooting darts. I was handed a balloon and told to hold it up, away from my face. From 15 ft. she shot the balloon. That is a scary woman. Later that night I witnessed a lady playing a trumpet. I can't play the trumpet with my mouth, let alone another part of me. Where do these people acquire their skills? How does one think to try it?
I stopped counting kathoey at 150 (3 hours after I started counting.)
Happy April 1st.
