Sunday, March 19, 2006
CRAMMING, GALLBLADDERS & HELL ON EARTH
3/18
My friends were freaking out about their exam. At their request we spent about 6 hours practicing reading, spoken English and talking about topics they thought the exam would cover. They had me read Patrick Henry's "Give me liberty or give me death" speech and MLK's "I have a dream" speech and then quiz them on specifics of the speech. They had me ask them complicated questions in English about things like China's "One Child" policy or the Chinese education system. They then went and took the test. Every single person I spoke to thought the test was too easy. They had the students read 3 sentences then asked them what they thought a good library should have. I have been left wondering, if the test was really that easy, how could they decide who should get into the school?
Yesterday evening we wandered around Changsha. We came upon a market and decided to check it out. I really like Chinese markets. There's always something interesting to see. Sometimes it's new fruits or vegetables I've never seen before, sometimes it's skinned dogs with their heads attached and sometimes it's neatly arranged tables of animal parts I didn't even know existed. Yesterday, there was the usual hundred chickens and ducks (probably all with bird flu) crammed into a tiny cage and bowls of frogs and turtles. The only unusual (a really relative term, but I've been here 6 months) thing I saw was a 30 gallon bucket filled to the brim with snakes. They were very skinny snakes, at most a foot long, but the bucket was writhing. Next to the bucket was a chopping tray where the lady would prepare your snakes if you so desired. There was also a large plate of gallbladders. I know people drink fresh-squeezed gallbladder juice as a type of Chinese medicine, but I'm not sure the effect. It's not on my list of things to taste either.
3/19 addendum
I have found hell. Many people think hell is somewhere down below, it's not. Hell resides in Changsha, Hunan Province, China. It is the most unnerving, revolting, incompetant, obnoxious waste of space I have ever seen. In 2 days it has jumped to #1 on the list of places I hate most in the universe. If China is looking for a way to cull their population, I suggest they start with Changsha. "Wow," you say. Why am I so angry? I can't hit every reason so I'll give you the big ones.
This afternoon we planned on buying a plane ticket to Kunming then travelling to Shaoshan, Chairman Mao's hometown. The travel agent said "no problem, it will just be a 30 minute wait." 3 hours later the ticket arrives and though misspelled (which I don't think is really a problem) we depart. We arrived at the bus station to find out that we had just missed the last bus to Shaoshan. We got in a taxi and asked him to take us to the train station (there are morning trains to Shaoshan) and he takes the long way, charging us 20RMB too much. We bought a ticket then got a taxi back to the hotel we had just checked out of. The taxi driver started driving then said, "I'm new here, where do I go." Though I've only been here 2 days, I gave him the best directions I could. We finally arrived after paying twice what we should have and then we got a call from the travel agent. She asked us to come back so she could fix the spelling on my ticket. I arrived and she wanted 50RMB more for the correct ticket. I went off on her, screaming and swearing in English, Mandarin and a few other langauges that came to mind.
You may be saying to yourself, "what's the problem, that's just China." I've put up with a lot in my time here, but today pushed me over the edge.
Other things that happened today:
- We went to McDonalds because my friend Ada wanted food there. In line, a middle age woman decided it was appropriate to spit in the restaurant and by chance hit my shoe (it was an accident because she appologized.)
- I stopped a little girl from stealing my wallet
- I was almost hit by 4 different cars (Chinese are terrible drivers and I've issued many a DWA, but Changsha drivers are worse.)
- I made a phone call to the US. The lady said it was 2.4RMB/min then after I hung up the phone charged me 8RMB/min and wouldn't let me leave until I'd paid.
- The Changsha version of Chinese is so convoluted that even my Chinese friends can't understand them, and when I speak proper Mandarin they can't understand me (I haven't had this problem anywhere else in China)
This is the town where Chairman Mao learned all his Marxist values. I've been here 2 days and I want to kill all 6 million people who live here. Mao lived here for almost a decade. Is it any surprise then that he killed 60+ million people?
The one bright side to being here has been that I found a really cool Randall Cunningham 1990 Probowl throwback jersey. It has all the proper Mitchell & Ness tags and looks real. The only thing wrong is that the date sewn on the bottom says 1994 where it should say 1990. This leads me to believe that it is a real jersey and just happens to be a factory screwup. Either way, It was a good deal for $6.
I am still going to Mao's hometown, Shaoshan, just tomorrow morning instead of today. If anyone wants a little red book, mao hat or t-shirt send me an email.
